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Here’s a relatability paradox that might completely reshape your leadership approach: what if the most introverted member on your event team is actually the one most capable of connecting with potential clients? Additionally, what if everything you’ve been told about magnetic leadership has been steering you in the wrong direction?
Most event professionals believe that to succeed in business, you need to be that “magnetic person” who lights up every room. However, relatability keynote speaker Rachel DeAlto‘s groundbreaking research reveals something completely different. As a former attorney with a master’s degree in psychology who became a communication and relatability expert, Rachel has spent years uncovering what actually makes people connect. What she discovered might transform how you think about leadership entirely.
This comprehensive guide explores the counterintuitive strategies that top leaders use to build authentic connections, regardless of their personality type. You’ll discover why curiosity trumps charisma, how introverts can leverage their natural strengths, and the specific techniques that create lasting professional relationships.
🎥 Watch the full interview with keynote speaker Rachel DeAlto here
“The biggest myth, I would say, is that people think that they have to be extroverted. They believe that in order to be relatable, you’re obviously, part of it is putting yourself out there and connecting to people, and they feel like, well, what do I do if I’m an introvert?” This insight from Rachel challenges one of the most pervasive misconceptions in business leadership today.
The traditional leadership narrative suggests that successful professionals must be naturally outgoing, effortlessly charismatic, and comfortable being the center of attention. Consequently, countless talented individuals have convinced themselves they’re not cut out for leadership roles simply because they don’t fit this extroverted mold. This limiting belief particularly impacts event professionals, who often assume that networking and client relationships require constant social energy.
Nevertheless, research consistently shows that some of the most effective leaders are introverts who have learned to leverage their natural tendencies. Warren Buffett, Bill Gates, and Marissa Mayer are prime examples of leaders who built empires not despite their introverted nature, but because of how they channeled their introspective strengths into powerful communication strategies.
The relatability advantage doesn’t come from being the loudest voice in the room or having the most entertaining stories. Instead, it stems from your ability to make others feel understood, valued, and heard. This shift in perspective opens up leadership opportunities for professionals who previously felt excluded from traditional networking approaches.
“One of my favorite hacks for my introverted friends who are looking to make more connections or be just more comfortable with being out there and, you know, having conversations and being more relatable is actually being more curious.” Rachel’s approach transforms what many consider a weakness into a strategic advantage.
Introverts naturally possess qualities that make them exceptional at building meaningful professional relationships. Their tendency to listen more than they speak creates space for others to share their thoughts and experiences. Moreover, their preference for one-on-one or small group interactions allows for deeper, more substantial conversations than surface-level networking exchanges.
When planning events, introverted leaders often excel at understanding attendee needs because they naturally observe and analyze rather than immediately jumping into action. They notice subtle cues about participant engagement, identify potential networking mismatches, and create environments where genuine connections can flourish. This observational strength becomes particularly valuable when designing customer experience strategies that resonate with diverse audiences.
The key lies in reframing networking from “performing” to “discovering.” Instead of feeling pressure to entertain or impress, introverted professionals can approach conversations with genuine curiosity about others’ experiences, challenges, and insights. This shift transforms networking from an energy-draining performance into an energizing exploration of human connection.
Furthermore, introverts often bring authenticity that stands out in professional environments filled with polished but superficial interactions. Their reluctance to engage in small talk can actually work in their favor, as they naturally steer conversations toward more meaningful topics that create lasting impressions and relationships.
Traditional leadership training focuses heavily on developing charismatic presentation skills, but Rachel’s research reveals that curiosity creates far more powerful connections. When you approach conversations with genuine interest in learning about others, you unlock a relatability superpower that transcends personality type.
Curiosity-driven leaders ask questions that others rarely consider. Instead of the standard “What do you do?” they might inquire, “What aspect of your work energizes you most?” or “What challenge in your industry keeps you up at night?” These deeper questions immediately differentiate you from countless other networkers and demonstrate that you value the person beyond their job title.
The neurological impact of feeling genuinely heard cannot be overstated. When someone experiences authentic interest from another person, their brain releases oxytocin, often called the “connection hormone.” This biological response creates positive associations with you and your professional development approach, making future interactions more likely and more productive.
Curiosity also provides a strategic advantage in event planning and client relations. By genuinely seeking to understand attendee motivations, client concerns, and stakeholder objectives, you gather invaluable intelligence that informs better decision-making. This approach transforms routine client meetings into collaborative problem-solving sessions that strengthen relationships while advancing business goals.
Additionally, curious leaders naturally become better storytelling professionals because they collect diverse perspectives and experiences. The questions you ask today become the insights you share tomorrow, creating a virtuous cycle of connection and value creation.
The pressure to be interesting creates an exhausting performance that ultimately backfires. When you focus on impressing others with your accomplishments, insights, or entertaining anecdotes, you inadvertently make the conversation about you rather than creating a shared experience. In contrast, showing genuine interest in others creates space for authentic connection to emerge naturally.
Research from Harvard Business School reveals that people rate conversations more positively when they do most of the talking. This finding validates what empowerment experts have long understood: giving others the opportunity to share their experiences creates psychological satisfaction that strengthens professional relationships.
Think about your most memorable networking encounters. Chances are, the people who left the strongest positive impression weren’t those who dominated conversations with their achievements. Instead, they were the individuals who made you feel heard, understood, and valued. They asked thoughtful follow-up questions, remembered details from previous conversations, and showed genuine enthusiasm for your projects and challenges.
This principle becomes particularly powerful in customer experience design. When event professionals prioritize understanding client needs over showcasing their capabilities, they uncover opportunities that competitors miss. Clients feel more confident working with vendors who demonstrate deep understanding of their unique challenges rather than those who immediately jump into sales pitches.
The “interested over interesting” approach also reduces the energy drain that many professionals experience from networking events. Instead of constantly thinking about what to say next or how to steer conversations toward your expertise, you can relax into genuine curiosity about the people you meet.
Successful event professionals understand that relatability isn’t a personality trait you either possess or lack – it’s a learnable skill set that can be systematically developed. The framework begins with self-awareness, progresses through strategic questioning, and culminates in authentic relationship building that drives business results.
Self-awareness forms the foundation of relatability because you cannot connect authentically with others until you understand your own communication patterns, energy sources, and relationship preferences. Introverted event planners might discover they excel in client consultation phases but need recovery time after large networking events. Extroverted professionals might realize they sometimes overwhelm quieter clients with too much enthusiasm before establishing trust.
Strategic questioning represents the tactical application of curiosity in professional settings. Effective questions demonstrate that you’ve done your homework while inviting others to share insights you couldn’t have discovered through research alone. For example, instead of asking a potential client about their event goals, you might inquire, “What would make this event feel like a victory to you personally?” This approach uncovers emotional motivations that drive decision-making.
The questioning strategy extends beyond initial conversations into ongoing relationship management. Following up with references to previous discussions, asking about outcomes of projects they mentioned, or sharing resources relevant to challenges they described demonstrates that you value the relationship beyond immediate business opportunities.
Authentic relationship building requires consistency over time rather than sporadic bursts of attention. This means maintaining contact between projects, celebrating clients’ successes even when you’re not involved, and offering assistance without expecting immediate reciprocity. Corporate culture experts recognize that this approach creates the trust foundation necessary for long-term partnerships.
Relatability leadership extends far beyond external relationships to fundamentally transform internal teamwork dynamics. When event professionals apply relatability principles within their organizations, they create environments where creativity flourishes, communication improves, and productivity increases naturally.
Team relatability begins with understanding individual team members’ communication preferences, work styles, and professional motivations. Some team members thrive on public recognition, while others prefer private acknowledgment. Some generate their best ideas through collaborative brainstorming, while others need quiet reflection time before contributing insights. Relatable leaders adapt their management approach to honor these differences rather than expecting everyone to conform to a single style.
The ripple effect of relatability leadership becomes particularly evident during high-stress periods common in event planning. When team members feel genuinely understood and valued by their leaders, they’re more likely to communicate challenges early, collaborate effectively under pressure, and maintain quality standards even when timelines compress. This psychological safety creates competitive advantages that purely technical skills cannot replicate.
Moreover, teams led by relatable professionals develop stronger client relationships because they model authentic connection behavior. Team members learn to ask better questions, listen more effectively, and respond to client needs with genuine care rather than scripted professionalism. This cultural shift often becomes a significant differentiator in competitive bidding situations.
Relatability also enhances cross-functional collaboration, which is essential in complex event production. When marketing, logistics, technology, and creative teams feel connected to shared objectives and understand each other’s constraints, they naturally develop solutions that might not emerge from siloed thinking.
Understanding the neurological and psychological mechanisms behind human connection provides event professionals with evidence-based strategies for building stronger relationships. When people feel genuinely understood, their brains activate reward centers that create positive associations with future interactions.
Mirror neurons play a crucial role in relatability by allowing individuals to unconsciously match the emotional states of others. Skilled relationship builders leverage this phenomenon by maintaining calm, confident energy during stressful client interactions, which helps clients feel more secure about their event decisions. This neurological response explains why some professionals naturally put others at ease while others inadvertently increase anxiety.
The psychology of reciprocity also supports relatability-based business leadership approaches. When you invest time in understanding someone’s challenges before presenting solutions, they feel obligated to reciprocate with attention to your recommendations. This principle works more effectively than aggressive sales tactics because it aligns with natural human social patterns.
Research in organizational psychology demonstrates that teams with high relational trust complete projects faster, produce more creative solutions, and experience lower turnover rates. For event professionals, this translates into competitive advantages including repeat client business, referral generation, and team retention during industry labor shortages.
The business impact becomes measurable through client satisfaction scores, project completion rates, budget adherence, and long-term relationship value. Organizations that prioritize relatability training often see immediate improvements in these metrics because team members become more effective at identifying and addressing client concerns before they escalate.
Implementing relatability strategies doesn’t require personality transformation – it involves developing specific habits and techniques that anyone can learn, regardless of their natural temperament. These practical approaches can be integrated into existing workflows without disrupting established client relationships or team dynamics.
The preparation strategy involves researching not just client companies but individual decision-makers’ backgrounds, recent achievements, and potential challenges. LinkedIn profiles, company press releases, and industry publications provide insights that enable more personalized conversations. However, the key lies in using this information to ask better questions rather than demonstrating how much you’ve researched.
Active listening techniques form the tactical foundation of relatability. This means fully focusing on what others are saying rather than formulating your response while they speak. Physical cues include maintaining appropriate eye contact, nodding to acknowledge understanding, and avoiding distractions like checking phones or scanning rooms for other networking opportunities.
The follow-up system transforms initial connections into lasting relationships. Effective follow-up references specific conversation details, provides relevant resources without expecting reciprococation, and suggests next steps that benefit the other person’s objectives. This approach differentiates you from countless professionals who send generic “nice meeting you” messages.
Personal development in relatability requires consistent practice and honest self-assessment. Recording client calls (with permission), requesting feedback from trusted colleagues, and reflecting on conversation outcomes helps identify areas for improvement. The goal isn’t perfection but continuous enhancement of connection skills.
Quantifying relatability might seem challenging, but several metrics reveal the business impact of authentic connection strategies. Client retention rates provide the most straightforward measure, as relatable professionals typically maintain longer-term relationships that generate recurring revenue streams.
Referral generation offers another clear indicator of relatability effectiveness. Clients who feel genuinely understood and valued naturally recommend trusted event professionals to colleagues facing similar challenges. Tracking referral sources and conversion rates reveals which relationship-building approaches generate the most valuable business development opportunities.
Project scope expansion frequently occurs when clients trust their event partners enough to discuss additional needs beyond initial contracts. Relatable professionals often discover opportunities for upselling or cross-selling because clients share broader organizational challenges during authentic conversations.
Team productivity metrics including project completion times, revision cycles, and client approval rates often improve when relatability principles guide internal communication. Teams that feel connected to leadership and each other naturally collaborate more effectively, reducing the friction that slows project progress.
Inspirational & motivational feedback from clients, team members, and industry peers provides qualitative validation of relatability development. Testimonials that mention feeling “heard,” “understood,” or “valued” indicate successful implementation of connection strategies.
Developing authentic relatability requires intentional practice rather than hoping natural charisma will emerge. Your action plan should address both internal relationship building with team members and external relationship development with clients and industry contacts.
Start by conducting an honest assessment of your current relationship patterns. Identify which professional relationships energize you versus those that feel forced or draining. Notice whether you tend to dominate conversations or struggle to contribute meaningfully. Recognize your default response to conflict or disagreement in professional settings.
Set specific, measurable goals for relationship development. This might include having deeper conversations with three new industry contacts monthly, scheduling regular check-ins with existing clients beyond project requirements, or implementing team-building activities that foster genuine connection rather than forced fun.
Practice curiosity-based questioning in low-stakes situations before applying techniques with important clients or stakeholders. Family dinners, casual social events, and routine vendor meetings provide opportunities to experiment with different question styles and observe responses without risking critical business relationships.
Create systems for maintaining relationships over time rather than relying on memory or sporadic efforts. Customer relationship management tools, calendar reminders, and personal note-taking systems help ensure consistent follow-through on relationship-building commitments.
As artificial intelligence handles increasingly complex tasks, human connection becomes the irreplaceable differentiator that determines professional success. Event professionals who master relatability will find themselves increasingly valuable in a marketplace where technical skills become commoditized.
The trend toward remote and hybrid work models makes intentional relationship building even more critical. Without casual office interactions, professional connections require deliberate effort and strategic thinking. Those who develop strong relatability skills now will have significant advantages as workplace dynamics continue evolving.
Additionally, younger professionals entering the workforce often prioritize authentic workplace relationships over traditional hierarchical structures. Corporate culture increasingly values leaders who can connect genuinely with diverse team members rather than those who rely solely on positional authority.
The integration of TED speakers and thought leaders into corporate events reflects growing recognition that human connection drives business results. Organizations invest in relatability training because they understand that technical competence without relationship skills limits growth potential.
The path to authentic relatability doesn’t require personality transformation or years of practice. Instead, it demands commitment to genuine curiosity about others, consistent application of connection strategies, and patience with the relationship-building process.
Remember Rachel’s core insight: relatability isn’t about being extroverted or entertaining – it’s about making others feel understood and valued. This fundamental shift in perspective opens leadership opportunities for professionals who previously felt excluded from traditional networking approaches.
Start with small experiments in curiosity-based conversations. Notice how others respond when you ask thoughtful follow-up questions rather than immediately sharing your own experiences. Pay attention to the energy difference between performing for others versus genuinely exploring their perspectives.
The most successful event professionals understand that ultimately, their industry is fundamentally about bringing people together and creating meaningful experiences. Those who master the art of authentic connection will continue thriving regardless of how technology, economic conditions, or industry trends evolve.
Your journey toward authentic relatability begins with the next conversation. Will you approach it with curiosity about the other person, or will you focus on what impression you want to make? The choice determines not just the outcome of that interaction, but the trajectory of your entire professional future.
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