Managing Emotions: How to Deal with Difficult People ? Today, let's explore techniques carefully crafted to effectively manage difficult people while minimizing conflicts and upholding collective morale.

July 12, 2023

? Today, let’s explore techniques carefully crafted to effectively manage difficult individuals while minimizing conflicts and upholding collective morale. But first, let’s delve into the characteristics that define a person as “difficult.”

Often, successful leadership requires the adept management, inspiration, and encouragement of diverse individuals, each possessing a unique personality. While leaders often navigate the realm of easily manageable individuals, they are inevitably challenged to guide difficult people.

In the face of this challenge, a prepared leader finds solace in a well-stocked toolkit and a strategic plan, poised to tackle such situations with finesse.

It is worth noting that while our focus remains on employees within an organizational context, the art of leadership extends to all facets of life, and encounters with challenging individuals transcend professional boundaries. Therefore, the insights shared here can be readily applied across a myriad of circumstances.

The Difficult People

We’ve all encountered difficult people at some point, and let’s face it, dealing with them can be a real challenge. So, grab a comfy seat, sip on your favorite beverage, and let’s explore the traits of these not-so-easy individuals in a fun and informal style.

The Center for Creative Leadership (CCL) has identified 11 behaviors commonly exhibited by difficult people. These behaviors serve as indicators that allow for prompt action:

1. Poor job performance
2. Inability to collaborate effectively
3. Resistance to coaching and guidance
4. Reluctance to embrace change
5. Lack of accountability for their actions
6. Possession of a negative attitude
7. Subpar work ethic
8. Demonstrating arrogance
9. Inadequate communication skills
10. A mismatch between their skills and the requirements of their role
11. Relying on “Yes, but…” weaknesses as a defense mechanism

This list offers a valuable means of promptly assessing whether an individual is becoming problematic.

In addition to this, researchers have also proposed the existence of seven core ingredients that contribute to challenging behavior, both within and beyond the workplace. These ingredients include:

1. Callousness
2. Grandiosity
3. Aggressiveness
4. Suspiciousness
5. Manipulation
6. Domineering tendencies
7. A propensity for risk-taking

Common Traits of Difficult and Problematic People

1. The Procrastinator Extraordinaire

Oh, the eternal procrastinator! This individual has a knack for putting things off until the last moment. Deadlines? Nah, they’re just suggestions, right? Dealing with a procrastinator can be frustrating but try gently reminding them of the importance of timely action or help them break tasks into smaller, manageable chunks. Sometimes, a little nudge is all they need to get going.

2. The Complainer-in-Chief

We all know that one person who can turn a sunny day into a gloomy rainstorm with their endless complaints. They find faults in everything, from the weather to their morning coffee. While joining in the gripe-fest is tempting, try shifting their focus to the positive. Offer solutions or alternative perspectives to help them see the brighter side of life.

3. The Perfectionist Paragon

Ah, the perfectionist — forever chasing the unattainable ideal. They scrutinize every detail, agonize over the most minor mistakes, and expect perfection from themselves and others. When working with a perfectionist, emphasize the value of progress over perfection. Help them understand that mistakes are part of the learning process and that doing something well is often better than perfect.

4. The Ego on Steroids

Meet the ego-driven individual strutting around like they own the world. They have an insatiable need for validation and will stop at nothing to be the center of attention. When dealing with an egotist, try offering genuine praise and recognition when deserved. You can help temper their need for constant validation by boosting their self-esteem.

5. The Drama Enthusiast

This person thrives on drama like a moth to a flame. They seem to have a never-ending supply of personal crises, and their emotional rollercoaster can leave you dizzy. When dealing with a drama enthusiast, maintain your composure and avoid getting caught up in their whirlwind. Encourage them to focus on finding practical solutions rather than dwelling on the drama.

6. The Eternal Skeptic

Doubt — the eternal skeptic questions everything and trusts no one. Their default mode is suspicion, and they have a radar for sniffing out ulterior motives. Building trust with a skeptic takes time and consistent actions. Be patient, transparent, and demonstrate your reliability. Over time, they may see that not everyone is out to get them.

7. The Control Freak

The control freak is determined to micromanage every aspect of their life and yours. They struggle with delegation and have a constant need to be in control. When dealing with a control freak, set clear boundaries and communicate openly about roles and responsibilities. Help them see the value of shared decision-making and empower them to loosen their grip.

8. The Passive-Aggressive Prodigy

Ah, the passive-aggressive genius, the master of subtle jabs and hidden messages. They rarely express their frustrations directly, opting for snarky remarks and sarcastic comments. When faced with passive-aggressive behavior, address the issue with assertiveness and clarity. Encourage open communication and create a safe space for expressing concerns without resorting to hidden agendas.

9. The Chronic Negativist

Everything is terrible, according to the chronic negativist. They have a unique talent for finding flaws in even the most delightful situations. While turning a negativist into a Pollyanna overnight is tough, encourage them to focus on gratitude and positive aspects. Share uplifting stories or suggest activities that promote positivity. Slowly but surely, you might help them embrace a more optimistic outlook.

10. The Stubborn Wall

When it comes to change, the stubborn wall is impenetrable. They resist new ideas and cling tightly to the status quo. Patience is key when dealing with a stubborn individual. Offer logical arguments and evidence to support the benefits of change. Sometimes, planting seeds of doubt and letting them come to their own conclusions can be more effective than a confrontation.

Remember, difficult people come in all shapes and sizes, and it’s essential to approach everyone with empathy and understanding. By recognizing these traits and employing some clever strategies, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the quirks and challenges they bring to the table.

So, embrace the uniqueness of these not-so-easy individuals, sharpen your people skills, and turn those challenging encounters into opportunities for growth and improved relationships.

Remember, we’re all a little difficult in our ways, but with a sprinkle of patience and a dash of humor, we can create a more harmonious world, one interaction at a time. Cheers to conquering the quirks and leading with finesse!

How To Lead Difficult People

Admittedly, some people are just difficult, no matter what. Nevertheless, recognizing the common traits associated with difficult individuals can empower leaders to identify them early on and address the issue before it escalates beyond control.

Here are some practical tips and tricks on leading difficult people like a seasoned pro.

1. Lead by Example

Actions speak louder than words, my friend. First, show your team how you expect them to behave by embodying those values yourself. Be a role model of professionalism, respect, and integrity. Difficult individuals are more likely to respond positively when they witness the behavior they should emulate.

2. Embrace the Power of Empathy

The first secret weapon in your leadership arsenal is empathy. Yes, that’s right! Put yourself in the shoes of that difficult individual and try to understand their perspective. What drives their behavior? What challenges are they facing? It could be difficult to model that, especially if you are amiable and easy-going; however, by seeking to understand them on a deeper level, you can foster a sense of connection and build rapport, leading to better communication and a higher likelihood of resolving conflicts.

3. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

Clear and open communication is the cornerstone of effective leadership, especially when dealing with difficult individuals. Be direct, but also listen attentively. Encourage them to express their concerns, ideas, and frustrations. This not only shows that you value their input, but it also provides a platform for finding common ground and working towards a mutually beneficial solution.

4. Set Clear Boundaries

Difficult people thrive on pushing boundaries, so it’s crucial to establish clear guidelines from the get-go. Set expectations regarding behavior, performance, and the consequences of crossing those boundaries. By doing so, you create a framework that maintains order and accountability within the team.

5. Provide Constructive Feedback

Difficult people often struggle to accept feedback, but it’s your responsibility as a leader to help them grow. When offering criticism or suggestions for improvement, constructively frame them. Focus on specific behaviors and their impact and offer solutions or alternatives. Doing so empowers them to make positive changes while preserving their dignity.

6. Find Their Strengths

Every individual, no matter how difficult, possesses unique strengths. Take the time to discover those strengths and find ways to leverage them within the team. You can boost their confidence, engagement, and overall performance by assigning tasks that align with their abilities. It’s incredible how a little recognition and appreciation can transform a challenging person into a valuable team member.

7. Seek Mediation if Necessary

Some conflicts may require the intervention of a neutral third party. If your attempts to resolve issues directly have failed, consider engaging a mediator or HR professional to facilitate the conversation. This impartial presence can help diffuse tensions, foster understanding, and find common ground for resolution.

ALSO READ: How Meeting Planners Handle Stress

8. Encourage Self-Reflection

Difficult people often struggle with self-awareness, so encourage them to reflect on their behavior. Suggest exercises like journaling or seeking feedback from colleagues. Fostering introspection opens the door to personal growth and positive change.

9. Foster a Supportive Environment

Create a team culture that values collaboration, support, and open dialogue. Encourage teammates to lend a helping hand, provide feedback, and address conflicts constructively. When the environment is supportive and cohesive, difficult individuals may feel more compelled to align with the group’s values and goals.

10. Know When to Let Go

Despite your best efforts, there may come a time when leading a difficult person becomes more detrimental than beneficial. If their behavior consistently undermines team dynamics or hampers productivity, making the tough decision to part ways might be necessary. Remember, a healthy team should take precedence over individual challenges.

Leading Difficult People: Key Takeaways

Leading difficult people is undoubtedly a challenge, but it’s not insurmountable. Armed with empathy, effective communication, and patience, you can navigate the maze of difficult personalities with finesse. By understanding their perspective, setting boundaries, and fostering a supportive environment, you’ll be well on your way to transforming difficult individuals into valuable team assets. So, dear leader, go forth, embrace the challenge, and lead your team to greatness!

Remember, leadership is a journey of growth and learning, and difficult people provide us with the perfect opportunity to sharpen our skills and unlock our true potential as leaders.

Now, go out there and conquer the world, one difficult person at a time!

Seth Dechtman is leading a discussion on various topics related to the event and meeting industry. Join him to gain insights and knowledge on how to curate impactful speakers for your events, leverage artificial intelligence, and meet your client’s needs.

Tags: meeting planner, meeting planning, meeting professionals

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